Getting wedding advice is inevitable. In a perfect world, getting advice should be a good thing. But you and I know that is isn't usually the case. There are good and not so good advice out there and getting the wrong one can make situations worse.
So when it comes to wedding advice, it is important to have a strategy in place for how to manage the advice that you receive, either you asked for them or not - especially when you haven't asked for them.
Firstly, I think we should agree that free wedding advice are one of the perks of getting engaged...everyone suddenly becomes a wedding expert and can't wait to offer you free coaching services. While I say/type this in humor, it is true though! Asides close relatives and friends who know about your relationship status - or lack thereof - and have been encouraging you along the way, the announcement of your engagement opens you up to receiving counsel from anyone willing to share, even if they mean well or not.
Now that you have made peace with this idea, let's get to the tips for managing those unsolicited wedding planning advice that you might be receiving soon.
Humor them: Nothing says give me unsolicited advice like a milestone achievement, and getting engaged, planning a wedding and then getting married rank top of the list. So allow people and go through the motion. Consider it as one of the perks of the status. While you may not want to encourage them, applying humor and taking it with a light heart can help you not get offended or disrespected. It also helps you look past the fault of the person giving the advice and consider that they might just be expressing genuine support for you both.
Consider the speaker: Not everyone wishes you well, and not everyone might understand your thinking process. So before you adopt any advice, think about who's giving the advice and consider if it is from a genuine place of not. Think about the motive behind the advice. For instance, a good friend may advise you against a particular high-ticket wedding dress probably because it doesn't reflect your style, a mean minded 'friend' might advise your against that dress not because of the style, but just because they want to outshine you during their own event. In my opinion, it's better to talk to a stranger than an enemy.
Grow a thick skin: Truth is, sometimes these unsolicited advice can really get to you, especially if it's for stuff you've already figured out. Like really!, after you have done all the brainstorming and figured it out, someone then offers an advise. You might hear the same advice over and over again from different people, or the same person can be the designated advisor - bestowing volumes of advice to you.While in some cases you can stop the speaker, in many other situations you might just have to wait out the 'speech' and tune out in the meantime...or play deaf! Try stopping grandma from advising you...haha!
Listen to them: Wedding planning comes with lots of decision making and getting a good advice can save you tons of sleepless nights and headaches. It's true that most people share advice as a show of concern, and though their delivery could be better structured, there's still some wisdom in what they're sharing. From your vendors to the mailman (it's the packages and the magazines that gave you away..ah!), to the jeweler and the old couple who live across the street, you can never tell who might have some wise wedding advice for you. Even a child could! Listen when you can, even if you need to block out the speaker to hear what's being said.
Stop them!: You absolutely do not have to listen to what you have not requested for, not minding who or where it's coming from. If you are not up for it in that preesent time, you can simply say 'can we continue this later?' or 'thank you, but we've got it sorted'. Find the best way to decline the talk, but do it nicely and politely.
Summarily, while almost everyone around you has suddenly become an expert in wedding maters and you feel like you can't take anymore advice, the best tip for managing this attention is to bear in mind that most times, people just want the best for you. They want you t
o know where the deals are, what meals would be great on the menu, how to have an amazing wedding celebration and so on. So though the advice are unsolicited, having this mindset will help you better manage the way you react to them. Just for laughs, what advice have you received recently? Please leave a comment and let's all learn or laugh together.
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